The Cribs: Martell

Usually, a song tends to start off slowly before gradually building up into an endemic crescendo. This, however, is already sat atop the highest skyscraper in West Yorkshire before the first note is struck, and by the time it reaches it's final "Woah-oh-oh-oh" the ghosts of Wakefield Trinity past and present echo up and down the Doncaster Road in unison.

'Martell' sets it's stall out in the opening couplet, as Ryan Jarman asks inquisitively "How hard can it be? to get a slap on the back from a room full of morons..." like a sarcastic chipmunk after a formaldehyde overdose, before retorting "...so you hate my sunglasses? Well your precious Leeds is dead, just so long as you know." Confrontational then, but in the most caustic rather than violent sense, like a modern day Wonder Stuff, who of course were the second coming of Slade. And there you have it, rock's newest family tree is born - from Noddy Holder and Dave Hill to the Jarman brothers in three easy steps.

In an ideal world 'Martell' would be number one for every season - particularly the football one - all year round. Altogether now, "Someone's got their eye on you now don't you know...WOAH-OH-OH-OH..."