Threaten to sue everyone.

stationary as humanly possible.

if they say no get REALLY ANNOYED and start to cry. they will HAVE to keep you on now.

that both sucks and blows.

Just wink and pout at the manager. either that or draw a dragon on your penis then flop it out and shake it around mid meeting.

well its not gunna su...
actually no

Start the meeting by demanding more money.

Post the number on here.

Failing that, nothing spices up a meeting like a violent outburst against an inanimate object.
Pick an object in the room, flip charts are always good. Start by giving it evils and build up to a "Seriously, what the fuck are you looking at?" before launching yourself across the room and beating the shit out of it.

xxxxx

turn to your manager and say "I'm sorry, but we are going to have to left you go" and get all worked up when you claim he is going to be made redundant and not you.

the classic Argon Speltzimer method.

start crying and then leave the office. Turn up to the meeting 2 minutes late wiping the tears away from your eyes. Tell them someone died. See if they are heartless enough to still give you the elbow.

"Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous. And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you."

Then, at the end, shout BRING! na dpick up an imaginary phone. "Compliance and Liability" And shout in a loud womans voice "MY TITS GONNA ROT OFF" and run out the room.

And say "What's happening bitches?", then start wanking and as you jizz all over your chest sigh "Ahhhh, there's the sugar"

And whenever anyone speaks shout "SILENCE! I WILL KILL YOU!"

hold onto the desk and go 'LALALALAL' when ever they mention the word.

pretend you are in the house of commonc, flap your papers and shout yeaaah, stand up at very pertinent points

if you don't go, they can't fire you!

IMPECCABLE LOGIC

as they're "overrunning" in the meeting room.

I actually want to leave now.....

finishing with "SHOW ME THE MONEY" except you scream it in your boss' face in complete rage with your hands down your trousers and crying a bit

PLAY IT!

I'm on tenterhooks

and not being able to say anything....basically imagine you are Sacha Baron Cohen, and do a performance piece......make em hurt