I hate coffee. I went into a chain coffee shop with a friend who does not hate coffee. A lady ahead of us said: "Two skinny lattes - one extra hot"
Another man said: "Latte, but with hot milk"
Both had a very serious 'You had better get that right' look on their faces.
What the hell is wrong with people? SKINNY LATTES???? EXTRA HOT????? HOT MILK??????? Drink some tea! Go and hunt something. Bwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaa
I always order Horlicks.
They don't like that.
or juice
or Nesquik.
Irritates them just as much.
That's no reason to hate coffee
Do you have a problem with cheap black coffee in a chipped mug? That's what I have. It's an authentic experience. I feel more alive just by drinking it.
Why does a chip mug enhance it's flavor?
It's not about flavour
It's about authenticity. You can't wear socks when you're drinking coffee either.
Do you chip the mug before you drink the coffee?
...Just so you can commit to the authenticity.
I sometimes place a pube on a newly bought soap for 'authenticity''.
a brew's a brew.
so long as it's wet and reasonably warm i'm not that fussy. There is definitely a certain kind of wanker that regularly uses chain coffee shops though.
I'm a tea person... but i'll go for anything with caramel or cinnamon.
are you twee_loser?
someone asked this yesterday.
You are! You didn't answer, you totally are.
Good you're back.
No, just no.
'Death' and someone called Chris have asked before you. It's pretty annoying.
YOU ARE!
Hmm, we'll see.
Nope, sorry!
Something about learning to read the boards
I'd give you a standing ovation, but
I'd just like to finish my caramel coffee blend frappuccino with no cream on top first.
It would be nice if they just did a coffee option though...
y'know, just a normal coffee in a mug without the marshmallows/kirsch/chicken caesar salad, etc in it.
Starbucks do
"Freshly brewed coffee", it's the cheapest, lowest calorie, and usually yummy. I had an Americano from Costa yesterday, and it was disgusting, really bitter and slightly gritty...
"give me one of those vanilla bullshits"
"what do you put in that?"
"milk and coffee"
"milk and coffe?! MILK AND COFFEE, who'd have thought of that?"
<3
chain coffee shops aren't real coffee culture anyway
exactly this
Yes,
they're coffee "culture"
coffee is lame
coffee shops are lame
lame lame lame
coffe tastes like dirt and hot water
same goes for tea
People who don't drink hot drinks
are going to burn in hell.
Hot chocolate does NOT count.
untrue
Wait and see.
Correct.
I struggle to trust people who don't like hot drinks.
tea > most stuff >>>>>>>>>>> coffee
coffee is the devils drink.
I really, REALLY love coffee
Hey, it's 2008, I love coffee of all sorts: freshly ground poncy shit, instant jar stuff, 30p klix machine coffee, coffee with flavoured shit in it... I'm basically a fiend for it all.
There's something satistyingly dirty about that Klix coffee.....
the liquid equivalent of a pot noodle.
'The slag of all drinks'
you = barista material
I KNOW!
Desperately and against my badly founded principles, aged 16 I tried to get a job in Starbucks. They said they only employed 17 year olds or older. The reason: "Hot milk and stuff".
Bastards.
I've been trying to get a job in a cafe for ages now but no-one wants me. Boo hoo.
Doesn't your mum own a cafe?
Now, call me presumptuous, but.........
it's more of a greasy spoon than a coffee joint
at hers you can get ground coffee or instant for 40p less. Now THAT'S choice.
Just read up a little, seriously, only a little even, on coffee
--beans, espresso drinks and all that, and then impress them at the interview. Don't pretend you know everything about coffee, just show you're keen. Seriously, I got my first barista job just on being keen. (I didn't even do the reading up thing, but I think it helped that I was this cute-ish girl and it was a cute shop, but you don't have the cute girl factor going for you, sadly, eh?)
nope :(
girls get all the good jobs around my age. Boys are stuck in mcdonalds and supermarkets.
I've never even been invited to an interview before. They see "17" and "never worked in a cafe before" and just don't bother, though i've started to lie that I worked for a summer at my mum's. Argh.
Stick with the lying.
I'd normally advise anyone to be honest, but eh, you're basically desperate, and you should totally be a barista. And once you do get an interview, make sure to talk up your interest, since you can't really talk up your experience that well.
And what the piddling fudgepack is
a Barista when it's at home?
Person working in coffee shop is better.
A lawyer specialising in dyslexia
What?
Sorry, not having a go,
it's just that the term BARISTA.....eurgh. It's just completely tied in with the fake-fancy poncey aspirational world of the chain coffee shop.
It's not though.
It's not from that, it's a genuine term pre-dating the chains.
To be clear
My dislike of coffee is coincidental to my hatred of chain coffee shops. Yes, coffee tastes like hot, bitter mud, but when I see some twazzer rushing along the street with on their mobile with a MASSIVE paper cup of coffee, pretending they are a high-powered business type/in sex and the city, It just irritates the shit out me.
It's right up there with people who parade a can of Red Bull at 8.30am on the tube as if to say: "LOOK AT ME - LOOK WHAT A FUCKING PARTY ANIMAL I AM. IF I DON'T DRINK THIS I WILL LITERALLY DIE."
briliant, and so true.
I've worked with people who literally think they'll go mental if they don't have a coffee. It's a hot drink, ffs, A HOT DRINK.
I used to think that coffee
helped me get through the day when I was tired but it doesn't actually do fuck all as I regularly do without it. I do like to drink it mind.
I used to think that
but when I went to primavera the last band finished at 4:30 AM, so I basically lived off the stuff for 3 days.
I can't abide the overfriendly nature of some 'baristas'
I once walked into a particular coffee shop for the first time and was greeted with "Awroight there fella! Lovely to see you... what can I do for you?"
How about fuck off? I mean, 'fella'! I think he was a chugger with a second job.
You are spot on,
caffeine is not a drug and it has no stimulatory effects.
Your under developed taste buds are right to detect nothing but mud.
why do people get skinny lattes?
eugh.
i've always wondered what those are!
is it like a diet one? or with skimmed milk or something?
yup
i don't really like lattes, it's coffee for children basically.
my favourite coffee shop closed today, they did just straight ordinary Filter Coffee as well as all the OTT stuff including one called The Red Eye that about 4 shots of espresso in it.
Oh also, can anyway who says 'Expresso' please die now? Please? Thanks!
Europa has closed?!
As of today, yes :-(
Mind you, they've had that 'for sale' sign up for about 5 years now i think. it's been sold to someone who already runs a cafe on City Rd somewhere, Steve thinks it might be called "Slutty Joe's" but he's a bit unsure on that...
I'm actually gutted it's gone.
That is pretty sad...
Always a good place to dive into to escape the rain. Hmph.
Oh no :(
I loved that place, gutted that it's gone now.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
THIS IS THE SADDEST NEWS EVER
I don't like much shop coffee
it's too milky. Waay too milky.
Get it black then
I love strong black coffee. If any 'Barista' sod gets overfriendly with me I stare at them over the top of my glasses and say 'I want it black. Like my cold dead heart'.
<3
cold drinks
are the best drinks
^ forever this
overly complicated coffee orders ftw
coffee is rubbish
and expensive in those chain shops. i went to asda yesterday and got a box of 40 capri-suns for 6 british pounds. that would get you like, two coffees or something. i think we know who won this time.
i should probably shop at asda
then i can afford more coffee!
I love coffee!
And cafes. But a lot of people are really silly. That includes the people working in the big coffee shops though. I normally just ask for "a cup of coffee" or even "a black coffee" and they'll give me a blank stare and be like, WHAT?
ive never even been in a coffee shop
so i have an irrational hatred of them and the people that inhabit them.
coffee shops are gay
they stink and are full of pretentious people who would be better off melted for glue
inside-outside
thinks gay people stink and should be melted for glue!!!1 ZOMG racist!!11
I've honestly never got this
whole "coffee shops are pretentious" thing. Last time I walked in to starbucks, it was full of normal people - nobody writing slam poetry, playing the bongos or discussing philosophy. I *wish* starbucks could be more like that.
In fact the only time I've ever found a coffee shop slightly pretentious was one I went to just off brick lane - but that's a general east london thing, not a coffee shop thing.
it used to be more pretentious
then all the hipsters left cos people found out about it, now its just another faceless chain clusterfucking the competition out of town
case point: nottingham market sq, a new starbucks has just opened, RIGHT NEXT TO COSTA COFFEE! blatant market saturation, disgusting
starbucks is never going to be like that
i thought all the hipsters were pretty much boycotting it anyway
only cos its now hipper to hate it than it ever was to like it
people with sense have boycotted it for time.
Starbucks coffee is shit too
with their great big fucking mugs.
its all a load of shit
fucking coffee. its not that grown up
in fact
coffee shops are just pubs for pussies
erm, no
if i want to drink i'll go to the pub
if i want to sit down with a book or something i'll go to a café
this is possibly true
but it doesnt stop them stinking worse than an ashtray
yeah it's not great
they try too hard
Starbucks IS genuinely horrid
I boycott it because i'm scared of it and it's notoriously bad ethics...
but also because of it's horrd shit coffee. It's actually crap. I only heard drank there once and it was bad enough to never want to go again.
And the majority of stores are tacky. It's like the mcdonalds of coffee and in the same way that mcdonalds branches are untidy and depressing and run by 16 year olds, so is starbucks. The decor is rubbish and there are too many adverts for baby coffee on the walls. Costa is expensive and almost as bad but at least it's not fucking GREEN everywhere.
Luckily the best coffee shop i've been to in glasgow is literally 30 seconds walk from my house (Tinderbox, stalker and fact fans). Its reasonably priced (20p less for a take-out, which many places don't seem to do) and with a good selection including macchiato and macchiatoni which many places dont seem to do aswell. And it's pretty nice inside, they play good music (they have a playlist on the wall and rotate it every month or so) and the staff are generally good.
They still havn't given me a job though...
Agree Starbucks is shit
I think the best chain for coffee is pret, but frankly £1 for lavazza at Worherspoons aint bad, taste of coffee beats most chains.
I was ranting about coffee culture just this week
to my girlfriend. Fucking KNOBS who say things like "I have to have a latte before work" or "I love Starbucks Grande full flavour" or something.
IT's some Americanisation of our culture or something.
Or maybe it's just pricks obsessing over expensive coffee in stupidly named cup sizes.
I really don't think that culture has existed for a while now
It really reached a peak because of Friends.
fucking coffe slurping yuppies
Hey!
Guess who should fuck off?
You!
Fuck off.
go sip some T
im agreeing with you
I like tea too.
Hey, it's 2008, i'm a liberal guy, whatever you know?
I'm not exactly sure what the complaint is
people who need a coffee before work or people who need a "latte"?
If it is the latter then I tend to agree but it is no different to any other aspect of life, it's exactly the same as the M and S adverts etc etc.
having said that, like most things, all coffee is not the same, you can have good coffee and bad coffee and there is certainly a place for lattes and cappuccinos.
Cunts are cunts, leave the coffee out of it.