9 seconds and we have our first mention of England. Motson descends further into senile irrelevance.
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"The Germans" vs. "Kazim's Turkey"
9 seconds and we have our first mention of England. Motson descends further into senile irrelevance.
if turkey screw me over again
i will prob cry.
germany 2-0 turkey
Kazim-Richards
WHO WAS BORN IN EAST LONDON hits the bar. German defence looking distinctly shaky. Then again, can't imagine Turkey will remain watertight.
germanyyyy yay!
i could watch this, i should watch this, i might in a moment. germany are so gonna win. i vote 2-0.
this is much better
than I thought it was going to be. Fair play to Turkey, they're actually playing positive football for once. The German defence is all over the place though.
"They call him Kazim-Kazim in Turkey"
That's because it's his name you utter cunt.
I'm laughing at these Motsonisms
I'm glad the few matches I've watched were commentated by crazy Irishmen!
lawrenson's an idiot too
"Thursten Frings"? WUT?
Also - GOAL!
who scored?
He's been listening to too much Sonic Youth, that's Lawrenson's problem
LOL
lehmann's a liability
LOLehmann
Oi!
I started this
Motson appeared to be under the impression
it had only barely crossed the line. It was about three yards over.
niiiice goal
turkey to lose
SCHWEEEIIINSTEIIIIGGER
WOOP
Well that came from nowhere!
Nice touch!
oh man
we have a game here.
And LOL at Podolski's headbutting celebration
Lovely finish
COLIN KAZIM ENGLISH RICHARDS FROM ENGLAND
SET UP A GOAL BY HITTING THE BAR FROM SIX YARDS. ALL HAIL ENGLAND. HE ALSO HIT A SHOT STRAIGHT AT THE GOALKEEPER.
Now he managed to lay a ball off in the area
then teleport to the right wing to fire in a shot.
Someone needs to put Motson down.
i don't know
how the BBC can manage about 10 perfectly decent tennis commentators but not one that can adequately commentate on an international football match.
i lolled at that
soon it'll be "great save by kazim richards"
Good game so far
very impressed with Turkey. Rather puzzled by Germany, who seem to save their best performances for when everyone has them as the underdogs.
And Mark Lawrenson's commentary - what a miserable git, I was losing the will to live.
PEOPLE IN SUPPORTING COUNTRYMAN SHOCKER
FOOTBALL IS ONLY IMPORTANT IF IT CAN BE RELATED
HOWEVER TENUOUSLY BACK TO ENGLAND.
Yes
That's exactly what's happening.
Pretty much
alongside Motson's complete inability to keep up with play, correctly identify players, pronounce names, and generally provide any semblance of insight.
So true
Guiza is pronounced Gwi-tha, not Geezer.
Di Natale is Di Na-ta-lay, no Di Natalie.
amazing man Motty.
Apparently there's a Turkish club side
called Galla-tas-are-ry.
what's the score?
ONE-ONE
1-1
though god knows how, Turkey have been all over Germany at times.
"Gallertersahree"
Amazing
THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
Philip Lahm shouldn't be on the pitch. He's commited two fouls that warranted yellow cards, on in each half. The Germand will go on and win this. What a shame.
* one
wtf
most blatent foul ever
That was an absolutely horrific decision
"yes mr referee, you've just made a major boob"
good grief.
what is up with the picture
?
wow!
chrissy waddle's finally back on our screens!
What happened to Motson's voice?
He's gone all northern
JOHN MOTSON'S GONE GEORDIE I REPEAT JOHN MOTSON'S GONE GEORDIE
at least it isn't Alan Green
seconded...
I hate that cunt.
Motty is like
the old Labrador you've had for years - sure it's lost control of their bladder, but you can't bare to put it down.
Alan Green is a piece of shit.
Two Geordies
They are taking over I tell you
Two Geordies
They are taking over I tell you
has everyone else's TV coveraged died
and been replaced with the radio commentary?
Yes
it has
rapid switch to 5live!
yes
MAKE IT WORK
GRRRRRRRR
Gaaah!
Where's my picture gone?
For a split sec I thought my telly had broken.
Goal of the tournament in 5...
it's the lightning apparently...
no shit!
all countries have lost the picture
must be a massive technical fuck up. STOP THE GAME!
It's McLaren
He's done it!
I thought my screen looked suspiciously red.
The problem is the quality difference in commentary's obvious now.
I don't wanna go back to Motson and Lawerenson!
"Must be that storm in Vienna."
"Must be."
*bangs head against desk*
Aww
See the way Germany were passing it around the back when it came back on? Someone must've told them to not do anything exciting until we got the picture back.
Congrats to the BBC
on apologising to me for the lack of coverage and telling me they could now take me back to it instead of JUST FUCKING SHOWING ME IT.
and now
the commentary's slightly ahead of the picture so we get Motson telling us what's happening before we see it. Great.
it's still perfect over here.
i can still hear people cheering.
fucking technical difficulties
gotta love storms.
I don't know why people are moaning
about Lawrenson sounding grumpy and bitter with the whole game. I much prefer that to the ITV commentators sounding like they're both masturbating over the game for the first 30 minutes with a cup of tea, biscuits and slippers.
"Looks like it's going to be a cagey affair Clive"
As he rubs his hands/cock and shakes like a little excited child.
Unquestionably BBC pisses all over ITV coverage-wise.
I love Lawro
I love his "yep" and "no". He's funny as fuck.
i love how he still uses the valley girl "not"
as in 'that was an excellent piece of defending . . . NOT!'
You obviously aren't aware that he's down with the kids.
He pretends he has Down's Syndrome in the company of children.
Greatest joke of all time.
Aaaaaaaaah
It's worse than watching a film with bad lip sync!
Oh dear here we go again!
AARGGHH
Not again..
Alan Green is now live on TV
I bet his cock is throbbing.
don't tell me you're going to play the commentary
just fucking do it you too ugly for real telly continuity announcer scum
They're just doing it deliberately now
surely?
noooooo!
Alan Green!!
Alan Green v John Motson. Who is worse?
So annoying...
and klose scores.
but no one saw it. awesome.
GOAL!
and now we've missed a goal
thanks thunder.
Typical.....
I just wish...
...that they'd stop interrupting the 5 Live commentary to tell us that we can't see anything.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
FUCK YOU THE TELEVISION
this isn't fair. I WANT TO SEEEEEEEE :(
oh
i do see.
yeeeesss
but wheres the fucking picture
doh!
missed the goal now!
Is that enough for Germany?
Great. Missed a goal now.
LAME.
Power supplies? Have you not got a UPS? Where's your business continuity plans?!
This is the way it should be....
5 Live Commentary with picture. Perfect. Except not Alan "Im the be all and end all of football analysis" Green.
Nooo
Boo Germany
Wat a goal!
But what the fuck was Rustu doing?
OMFG!!!!!! THERES BEEN A GOAL
THeres been a fucking goal and all I can see is that shitty red screen!!!!
YES!
5LIVE COMMENTARY WITH PICTURES!
MOTSON'S BEEN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING!
picture
and 5live sound.
surely the best combo?
audio
slightly ahead of the pictures.
they don't talk as much drivel though so i'll allow it
How about a replay?
For those of us who didn't see the goal?
^ true
that.
which team scored though?!
Germany.
Klose
Seen it now.
What's the keeper doing?
Missing the ball
Not the only one!
2-2
Holy Fucking shit!
What a finish!
Lolhmann
Terrible keeping mistake!
haha
amazing. Jens should just retire.
I CANNAE BELIEVE IT
I CANNAE BELIEVE IT
How the fuck do they keep doing it?
Amazing!
Game on!
Whoop!
GOAALLLL!!!
He CANNOT believe it!! HE CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!
turkey
more like LAMEmann
SUCH a game
turkey always pull it out in the dying minutes.
i think they'll win this, in the last 3 minutes of extra time
nooooo
Motson returns.
Ballbag.
their boro tribute shirts
are inspiring them to a uefa cup style surprise run of daring wins and success
oh if this ends in fucking penalites
i'm seriously going to kill someone. SOMEONE TURKISH.
douchebag :(
OH aND OH AND OH AND OH GOAL!
i was joking, obvs
HURRAH!!!!!!
oh god
the sad turkish faces are breaking my heart.
And we're back with Motson
jeeeeez
I've never seen Lahm
get raped like this.
who's raping who now!
Ahem...
They might not be able to show the whole game
but they've always got the time to zoom in on some fitties!
here here
Great game
That's all I wanted really. If it does go to extra-time I hope it doesn't peter out
I'll shut up now
lol
Lahm deserved that
after the terrible decision earlier.
i officially hate
lighting storms. fucking missed lahm's goal.
hes complaining
because they took the free kick 10 yeards away from the foul lawrenson you mong
Bloody Germans
in another final :(
Great game
although the Germans got lucky. I don't feel too bad for Turkey since they were comprehensively outplayed for 120 minutes against Croatia but still, they deserved to win tonight.
I love how Hansen and O'neill are like an old married couple
H :"when the rain was coming down you'd never seen anything like it had you?"
M: "never seen anything like it"
sweet.
i am
gutted by the fact germany won!
they were rubbish, turkiye outplayed then all night. and thats missing about 6 of their best players. six of TURKEY's best players, such a shame they lost.
they have been so good, such heart. such play....
such a shame, i have been so disappointed by italy, and germany in this tournament.
"it feels like the end of the world"
poor jake
baywatch?!
Message to the BBC pundits
The war's over chaps, stop being so fucking bitter. The way they're talking about Germany, you'd think they were the worst side ever to play football. Fact is, you don't get to the final of a major tournament by being shit. I seem to remember them soundly raping Portugal a few days back too.
when it's chelsea or man.utd
they can't stop talking about how 'the mark of a truly great side is that they play badly and still win when it counts', yet the Germans do it and suddenly it signals the death of football.
It's ridiculously irritating
The Germans have several obvious deficiencies but they also have some excellent players and I'd argue that it's a credit to their midfield and strike force that they've managed to get so far when Mertesacker and (to a lesser extent) Metzelder are so average.
If this had been England, they'd be wanking themselves silly about "fighting spirit" and "passion."
Fucksake
Boring boring boring team lead by Michael Dickhead Ballack make it through. If they'd played like they did against the Portuguese I would've been happy, but Turkey ran them to ruin nearly. So sad.
At least my two favourite German players scored. Lahm <3 even if he did get pwned, repeatedly, tonight.
"The Germans" vs. "Kazim's Turkey"
9 seconds and we have our first mention of England. Motson descends further into senile irrelevance.
if turkey screw me over again
i will prob cry.
germany 2-0 turkey
Kazim-Richards
WHO WAS BORN IN EAST LONDON hits the bar. German defence looking distinctly shaky. Then again, can't imagine Turkey will remain watertight.
germanyyyy yay!
i could watch this, i should watch this, i might in a moment. germany are so gonna win. i vote 2-0.
this is much better
than I thought it was going to be. Fair play to Turkey, they're actually playing positive football for once. The German defence is all over the place though.
"They call him Kazim-Kazim in Turkey"
That's because it's his name you utter cunt.
I'm laughing at these Motsonisms
I'm glad the few matches I've watched were commentated by crazy Irishmen!
lawrenson's an idiot too
"Thursten Frings"? WUT?
Also - GOAL!
who scored?
He's been listening to too much Sonic Youth, that's Lawrenson's problem
LOL
lehmann's a liability
LOLehmann
Oi!
I started this
Motson appeared to be under the impression
it had only barely crossed the line. It was about three yards over.
niiiice goal
turkey to lose
SCHWEEEIIINSTEIIIIGGER
WOOP
Well that came from nowhere!
Nice touch!
oh man
we have a game here.
And LOL at Podolski's headbutting celebration
Lovely finish
COLIN KAZIM ENGLISH RICHARDS FROM ENGLAND
SET UP A GOAL BY HITTING THE BAR FROM SIX YARDS. ALL HAIL ENGLAND. HE ALSO HIT A SHOT STRAIGHT AT THE GOALKEEPER.
Now he managed to lay a ball off in the area
then teleport to the right wing to fire in a shot.
Someone needs to put Motson down.
i don't know
how the BBC can manage about 10 perfectly decent tennis commentators but not one that can adequately commentate on an international football match.
i lolled at that
soon it'll be "great save by kazim richards"
Good game so far
very impressed with Turkey. Rather puzzled by Germany, who seem to save their best performances for when everyone has them as the underdogs.
And Mark Lawrenson's commentary - what a miserable git, I was losing the will to live.
PEOPLE IN SUPPORTING COUNTRYMAN SHOCKER
FOOTBALL IS ONLY IMPORTANT IF IT CAN BE RELATED
HOWEVER TENUOUSLY BACK TO ENGLAND.
Yes
That's exactly what's happening.
Pretty much
alongside Motson's complete inability to keep up with play, correctly identify players, pronounce names, and generally provide any semblance of insight.
So true
Guiza is pronounced Gwi-tha, not Geezer.
Di Natale is Di Na-ta-lay, no Di Natalie.
amazing man Motty.
Apparently there's a Turkish club side
called Galla-tas-are-ry.
what's the score?
ONE-ONE
1-1
though god knows how, Turkey have been all over Germany at times.
"Gallertersahree"
Amazing
THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
Philip Lahm shouldn't be on the pitch. He's commited two fouls that warranted yellow cards, on in each half. The Germand will go on and win this. What a shame.
* one
wtf
most blatent foul ever
That was an absolutely horrific decision
"yes mr referee, you've just made a major boob"
good grief.
what is up with the picture
?
wow!
chrissy waddle's finally back on our screens!
What happened to Motson's voice?
He's gone all northern
JOHN MOTSON'S GONE GEORDIE I REPEAT JOHN MOTSON'S GONE GEORDIE
at least it isn't Alan Green
seconded...
I hate that cunt.
Motty is like
the old Labrador you've had for years - sure it's lost control of their bladder, but you can't bare to put it down.
Alan Green is a piece of shit.
Two Geordies
They are taking over I tell you
Two Geordies
They are taking over I tell you
has everyone else's TV coveraged died
and been replaced with the radio commentary?
Yes
it has
rapid switch to 5live!
yes
MAKE IT WORK
GRRRRRRRR
Gaaah!
Where's my picture gone?
For a split sec I thought my telly had broken.
Goal of the tournament in 5...
it's the lightning apparently...
no shit!
all countries have lost the picture
must be a massive technical fuck up. STOP THE GAME!
It's McLaren
He's done it!
I thought my screen looked suspiciously red.
The problem is the quality difference in commentary's obvious now.
I don't wanna go back to Motson and Lawerenson!
"Must be that storm in Vienna."
"Must be."
*bangs head against desk*
Aww
See the way Germany were passing it around the back when it came back on? Someone must've told them to not do anything exciting until we got the picture back.
Congrats to the BBC
on apologising to me for the lack of coverage and telling me they could now take me back to it instead of JUST FUCKING SHOWING ME IT.
and now
the commentary's slightly ahead of the picture so we get Motson telling us what's happening before we see it. Great.
it's still perfect over here.
i can still hear people cheering.
fucking technical difficulties
gotta love storms.
I don't know why people are moaning
about Lawrenson sounding grumpy and bitter with the whole game. I much prefer that to the ITV commentators sounding like they're both masturbating over the game for the first 30 minutes with a cup of tea, biscuits and slippers.
"Looks like it's going to be a cagey affair Clive"
As he rubs his hands/cock and shakes like a little excited child.
Unquestionably BBC pisses all over ITV coverage-wise.
I love Lawro
I love his "yep" and "no". He's funny as fuck.
i love how he still uses the valley girl "not"
as in 'that was an excellent piece of defending . . . NOT!'
You obviously aren't aware that he's down with the kids.
He pretends he has Down's Syndrome in the company of children.
Greatest joke of all time.
Aaaaaaaaah
It's worse than watching a film with bad lip sync!
Oh dear here we go again!
AARGGHH
Not again..
Alan Green is now live on TV
I bet his cock is throbbing.
don't tell me you're going to play the commentary
just fucking do it you too ugly for real telly continuity announcer scum
They're just doing it deliberately now
surely?
noooooo!
Alan Green!!
Alan Green v John Motson. Who is worse?
So annoying...
and klose scores.
but no one saw it. awesome.
GOAL!
and now we've missed a goal
thanks thunder.
Typical.....
I just wish...
...that they'd stop interrupting the 5 Live commentary to tell us that we can't see anything.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
FUCK YOU THE TELEVISION
this isn't fair. I WANT TO SEEEEEEEE :(
oh
i do see.
yeeeesss
but wheres the fucking picture
doh!
missed the goal now!
Is that enough for Germany?
Great. Missed a goal now.
LAME.
Power supplies? Have you not got a UPS? Where's your business continuity plans?!
This is the way it should be....
5 Live Commentary with picture. Perfect. Except not Alan "Im the be all and end all of football analysis" Green.
Nooo
Boo Germany
Wat a goal!
But what the fuck was Rustu doing?
OMFG!!!!!! THERES BEEN A GOAL
THeres been a fucking goal and all I can see is that shitty red screen!!!!
YES!
5LIVE COMMENTARY WITH PICTURES!
MOTSON'S BEEN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING!
picture
and 5live sound.
surely the best combo?
audio
slightly ahead of the pictures.
they don't talk as much drivel though so i'll allow it
How about a replay?
For those of us who didn't see the goal?
^ true
that.
which team scored though?!
Germany.
Klose
Seen it now.
What's the keeper doing?
Missing the ball
Not the only one!
2-2
Holy Fucking shit!
What a finish!
Lolhmann
Terrible keeping mistake!
haha
amazing. Jens should just retire.
I CANNAE BELIEVE IT
I CANNAE BELIEVE IT
How the fuck do they keep doing it?
Amazing!
Game on!
Whoop!
GOAALLLL!!!
He CANNOT believe it!! HE CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!
turkey
more like LAMEmann
SUCH a game
turkey always pull it out in the dying minutes.
i think they'll win this, in the last 3 minutes of extra time
nooooo
Motson returns.
Ballbag.
their boro tribute shirts
are inspiring them to a uefa cup style surprise run of daring wins and success
oh if this ends in fucking penalites
i'm seriously going to kill someone. SOMEONE TURKISH.
douchebag :(
OH aND OH AND OH AND OH GOAL!
i was joking, obvs
HURRAH!!!!!!
oh god
the sad turkish faces are breaking my heart.
And we're back with Motson
jeeeeez
I've never seen Lahm
get raped like this.
who's raping who now!
Ahem...
They might not be able to show the whole game
but they've always got the time to zoom in on some fitties!
here here
Great game
That's all I wanted really. If it does go to extra-time I hope it doesn't peter out
I'll shut up now
lol
Lahm deserved that
after the terrible decision earlier.
i officially hate
lighting storms. fucking missed lahm's goal.
hes complaining
because they took the free kick 10 yeards away from the foul lawrenson you mong
Bloody Germans
in another final :(
Great game
although the Germans got lucky. I don't feel too bad for Turkey since they were comprehensively outplayed for 120 minutes against Croatia but still, they deserved to win tonight.
I love how Hansen and O'neill are like an old married couple
H :"when the rain was coming down you'd never seen anything like it had you?"
M: "never seen anything like it"
sweet.
i am
gutted by the fact germany won!
they were rubbish, turkiye outplayed then all night. and thats missing about 6 of their best players. six of TURKEY's best players, such a shame they lost.
they have been so good, such heart. such play....
such a shame, i have been so disappointed by italy, and germany in this tournament.
"it feels like the end of the world"
poor jake
baywatch?!
Message to the BBC pundits
The war's over chaps, stop being so fucking bitter. The way they're talking about Germany, you'd think they were the worst side ever to play football. Fact is, you don't get to the final of a major tournament by being shit. I seem to remember them soundly raping Portugal a few days back too.
when it's chelsea or man.utd
they can't stop talking about how 'the mark of a truly great side is that they play badly and still win when it counts', yet the Germans do it and suddenly it signals the death of football.
It's ridiculously irritating
The Germans have several obvious deficiencies but they also have some excellent players and I'd argue that it's a credit to their midfield and strike force that they've managed to get so far when Mertesacker and (to a lesser extent) Metzelder are so average.
If this had been England, they'd be wanking themselves silly about "fighting spirit" and "passion."
Fucksake
Boring boring boring team lead by Michael Dickhead Ballack make it through. If they'd played like they did against the Portuguese I would've been happy, but Turkey ran them to ruin nearly. So sad.
At least my two favourite German players scored. Lahm <3 even if he did get pwned, repeatedly, tonight.