Oh bless me I really think I've got my own column on DIS but but BUT i've been in the same room as Mike Diver AND I have Colin ROberts number AND a PM from Sean Adams - go me I'm the next George Lamb or something
ANYWAY - pictures of 'revellers' at festivals in broadsheets - ALWAYS either two girls outside a tent (breasts - tick/good looking - tick, legs on show - tick) or some girl arms aloft on someone's shoulder (breasts almost out - tick, armpits shaved - tick - posh irritating twat on gullible boyfriend's shoulder blocking someone's view of the bassist from the Feeling - tick).
Why then, unless it is some full time penis covered in mud (with added future e-coli) gurning with his mates, is it ALWAYS stereoptypical slightly posho 'fit' girls pictured, as if no other type of person actually attends and anyway these pictures don't even have a story just a lazy byline - is everything about sexiness just in case people won't be interested or older readers go puce at the
permissive generation?? Of course if it was a picture/pictures of percieved good looking men would that it was just aimed at the 'pink market'???
I hate the papers.
I like pretty girls
That's not the point, silly
Not saying you need some Jabba wolfing down the contents of a hijacked Greggs 18 wheeler but there's just something contrived about it.
Women - heh heh - men fuck them - lol. I never knew that!
Who would want to see photos
of a smelly oik in shellac t-shirts scratching around to scraep up their last £3.50 for a carling?
isn't that memorabilia you get at ATP?
why do you ask questions with obvious answerds?
in this case, take your pick from:
a) pictures of girls with their breasts out sell more papers;
or
b) the people who decide what pictures go in are leery middle-aged men
really, take your pick
....
last festival I went to there were 38,998 posh, mildly fit girls. Me. And my mate. Thats just were festivals are going now, the broadsheets telling it like it is.
people on the shoulders of their boyfriend serve only one purpose
to annoy the rest of the crowd.
But weird but I think, I THINK, women have been going to festivals as long as men.
....
I know they've taken over.
Is this about the picture that was in the Observer yesterday?
They were fit though, weren't they? PHWOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR.
yeah and we woz hoping they'd done each other silly in the tent
COS THATS WOT YOU IS MEANT TO THING RULES
There's also a picture of a girl on the shoulders of a White dreadlocked (obvs) person
watching Dalek I Love You or something.
DALEK I LOVE YOU
THOSE DIAMOND LIGHTS I'LL ALWAYS WANT YOU...
DALEK I LOVE YOU.
^ POTY
I thought it was a paean to a fizzy woman's cider
link pls
In OMM? Because I have that in my bag
I'm quite keen to see these attractive women
You may have to buy the paper.
There wasn't a story, just a picture and a sentence saying 'Look! There's a festival on at the Isle of Wight!' or something.
I see
I have the Observer on my bedroom floor at home. The pay off won't be worth the six hour wait, will it?
so much this ^
link pls
I must have missed that bit
I was too busy glazing over whilst reading the global issue of the music magazine.
how about
a shot of the bassist from the feeling being hit square-on by a coke bottle-full of warm piss?
Or a picture of some weekend Mickey Loosefit being pronounced dead
having been found in a flattened tent near the parimeter fence having overdone it on pills and cider on the first night.
would a Loosefit drink cider?
No, no he wouldn't.
sorry I meant lukewarm stella
PROLEFACT: 'at' Glastonbury 1997 they pulled an unconscious Welsh Loosefit out of a tent in my field - him and his mates had been 'on it' around their ugly tents two days solid and the one who came out prostrate was their 'social hand grenade' mate who'd clearly never had a weekend away from his modern prefab. They were very quet after that so whether he died or not I don't really care.
However some girls in Levellers t shirts WERE FIT FUCKING HELL LOOK AT THEIR BAPS, dirty bitches get a photo now.
oh yes the OMM tried to make World music FUCKMEHARD sexy
but putting CSS on the cover and then featured bands with weatherworn toothless hags with half ripped ears on the rest of the pages - naturally I deficated loudly on the whole thing whilst speaking in tongues. 'As you do'
There are only two default 'festival goers in tents' shots though.
Sexy ladies looking sexy, or some cunt with 'I LOVE FERN BRITTON' written on his chest in permenant marker, gaffa-taped to a fishing chair while his mates all sit around with cans of Heineken doing that arms-out-wide-wacky-wacky-wacky pose.
I prefer option one. Because semi-naked ladies at festivals make me want to go to festivals. And pictures of me don't.
'wacky wacky wacky pose'?
I dunno
Imagine six topless lads in fishing hats trying to pose around their gaffa-taped mate. Arms out wide, mouths open as if to say 'EHHHH!!!!!!!' fingers doing some sort of thumbs up/pointy thing, Reebok classics on the bonfire from when we got smashed the night before and thought it'd be dead funny, like.
Anyway. About those women...
Chris Cornell needed a couple of rewrites
:D
the thing is what would The Doctor do at a festival?
Who woes that cartoon that went 'wacka wacka wacka!'?
I've not made this up have I?
Fozzy Bear
not a cartoon.
or, if at glastonbury
some rubbish performing arts student on stilts.
Stefan is right on all points though
why would you want to see a sub charles mansion dancing around a dead bicycle on one foot in the Green Fields. If it can't be fucked then don't put it in - that's surely a 4th Estate motto?
Charles Mansion?
"Fun for all the Family! Stay the night...if you dare!"
haha
There was something I meant to bring your attention to
but I've forgotten what it was.
AH!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/classof2008/
What on earth is this?
the Platonic Ideal of Cunt
I saw it
It made me want to play in traffic.
Everyone in it needs to die
The only consolation is everyone in it will be massively embarrassed by it within ten years.
And still massively rich I'd imagine.
Hand(job) Dill Spass-Divvly Bitch (gonna)Cry'd DimVagMin(ge)
here's my festival pic:
http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r201/starshaped1/image13.jpg
nice beard
thanks,
I try.
The man in the left corner
of your photo looks like he's waiting to be kissed and the person has legged it. Maybe it was Zane?!
it certainly wasn't me
He's got a
Zane-tache. Perhaps he's a groupie/fluffer?
See also: photographs of people getting their A Level results in the broadsheets.....
the only people who stay on at school past 16 are gorgeous middle class girls with flawless complexions, masses of natural blonde hair, perky breasts and 27 A grades, not that they needed them because Harvard, Oxford, Trinity College and the Sorbonne had all given them unconditional offers...oh, and they always have an identical twin who got the exact same results.
And when they same people are on telly they have to go OMG! twenty times
then they pan into pallid skinned hag-ish prole girl who's just failed and when they say 'so what's next she tells them its home to 23 Shit Street to help her stepdad up to the bathroom as he's pissed himself again whilst watching Cash in the Attic.
those observer girls
the stupid bints had their tents pitched under a sign which clearly said 'NO CAMPING'