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Girls Like Douchebags

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by douchebag

having just spent the evening with my dad and his bourgeoise, permatanned, pinkshirted, Porsche driving buddies, i can safely say that women LOVE fucking douchebags. And when i say "women" i mean "crazily beautiful 20 year olds who are actually quite intelligent but still love middle aged douchebags who play squash and have amazing apartments in the city centre with pin sharp HD tvs and numerous bottles of quality rose"

it kind of makes me want to stop being such a poor ass douchebag

also, mad props to the Man U fan who gave me the knuckles after my epic knee drumming to RATM on the way home. To be fair, i was killing it

douchebag | 22 May '08, 01:12 | Send note | Report this | Reply

i don't

but then i don't fit into that category of girl.


you're hot

wanna marry me?


sorry, taken.

but if it's any consolation my boyfriend is unemployed right now...

i see where you're coming from though, it's mainly rahs who're like that in all fairness. they're shallow and boring, you want a nice girl!


i'm totally employed

in fact i have a meeting tomorrow. A MOTHERFUCKING MEETING FERCHRISSSAKES. Lets marry

basically, i'd take a rah. i'd take anything which wasn't too horrendous to look at (although i can handle "a bit horrendous")


i dont understand

surely you would be just as unhappy settling for someone you didnt really like?


^


DEEEEEEP

seriously, that's way deep

in other news, i'd take a woman who wouldn't laugh at my hideous visage and would listen intently when i talked about the rhythmic dexterity of Kool G Rap and would watch me fretwank to Purple Rain for several hours every night and would make me cups of tea when i asked nicely and would occasionally perform sexual acts on me and would sometimes leave me alone

any takers?


i wanna

hear more about the Knee-Drumming


I was listening to Om on the way to Finsbury Park

today.
Walking up the street with my iPod on loud, and it's playing 'Unified Knowledge of the Godhead' back loud through my Shure e2c headphones, and I stop of in a Kurdish shop to buy a Twirl by Cadburys and the shopkeeper is wearing his usual red and green plaid and he says 'alright boss, how is your mother?' as usual, and, as usual, I wonder if he is fucking her and I don't care and I leave the shop fast and continue walking to the overground station, where the train is two minutes late.
I am playing the ride bell with my right arm which is flaying, perhaps, one half-foot to the right of me, and hitting the splash with my right arm which I have mapped about one foot left and one half-foot up. I have the snare directly infront of me, using my left hand, which doubles as the kick. I signal the kick motion with my left arm's elbow which thrusts downwards, and hits a distinct point, no follow through, and I get all the way to Finsbury Park before the tune ends and as I walk out of the station the iPod chooses a nice instrumental track by dntel, which I quickly skip, and it chooses an AFX track from Anarlord 1-11, which I continue to drum alongside, more frantically, and using fill sounds I hadn't previously mapped to my arms, perhaps using my mouth for open AND closed hi-hats, anyway, I see a girl wearing H&M, and she looks nice, cheap, and hardbody.

Fake drumming is cool.


<3


:D


Kill me now


Ja-ja-JADED!

What of it?


:D


Okay

Now I'm just watching Aerosmith videos on YouTube.


(})

REVISE


Too late now!

I'll do it tomorrow. Between getting up at 4 and going out at 9.


yeh

i was adding to the Brett-effect, yo.


i've met him

he was a nice guy.

I'm the closest you can get though.


I think you're wrong with this

cos im a MASSIVE douchebag and yet still the girls hate me


im sorry to say

that i think over 80% of women fall into this category *ducks*. Im serious thou, power and ego are part of a mans appeal to the majority of women and they confuse loving who a person is with loving what a person is.

honest opinion. Im sure people will dissagree strongly thou.


ok i googled that word soo

now i can say i dont hate women im just aware that good ones (non douches) are rare in my humble opinion.


80% of women are ducks?

Thats quackers!


which would be less annoying

if they wernt so preachy about love in the first place.

put ur focus where ur mouth is! hehehe


nope

he's right. maybe not 80% but still.

I think in general, its a lot easier to be in love with being in love than it is to actully find love.

And that prob goes for some guys as well as girls.

But i do sympathise here. Probably cos im a no hoper.


tv has taught me women respond to intimidation and bullying

thats the best way to get them interested i hear. like hairpulling, late night threats etc