Something to do with Paul Scholes.

although I will have 50p e/w on 'that magical night in Istanbul' even though Liverpool aren't playing.

Like a birthday.

Misplaced pass/ shot wide by Ronaldo...

'He is human after all'

MY LEAST FAVOURITE PHRASE EVER.

"force" or "great ability" whilst sounding like the prossie-picker-upper he is

old classics bound to feature

Something about Mourhinio
Something about Drogba falling over
Something about 1999
Something about "3rd Time Lucky" for Chelsea against Liverpool and that its got to be "their year"

*Close up on Ferguson*

'How he would like to be out there playing himself'

"Brave John Terry"

"Frank Lampard Dead Mum Pat (in some cobination in sentence)"

"Who's the special one now?"

And my personal hope

"Theres smoke coming from the terrace, an explosion, burning fans running onto the pitch"

Matt Smith back in the studio: "We understand a missle has hit the Luzniki Stadium, there are confirmed casualties."

Fingers crossed.

yadda yadda.

turn the sound down and listen to 5 live.

"DROGBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

'Accuracy is essential'

Peter Cheek, or Didier Droogbar. Or something.

... all players and fans are dead"

one can hope.

also, if it goes to penalties the game won't finish till 1am russian time. that's mental.

"First there was Barcelona, then Istanbul. Now you can add Moscow to the list."

"That weaver of dreams, Wes Brown."

'It's a dark day in English football, as both teams and Steven Gerrard have been caught up in a car crash.'

I can but dream...

listening to him commentate you'd think it was a warzone not a football match. heroes, brave etc etc

David Pleats first few minutes of silence to be broken by "Thank You Clive, what a fantastic night we've got ahead of us".

He always leaves it untill a few minutes in.

The absolute cunt

*chuckle*

'It's never been his strong point, tackling'

scholes giggs terry lampard or other?

I wish I was a servant that got paid £3million a year.

If it isn't a pun about the red square being both red and blue today then I'll be amazed.

being championship standard and how the russians bodged everything up.
that magic night in barcelona
do it for *lists manchester united "legends" *
biggest game in english football history since 1966

followed by some communist pun, executed badly

As Chelsea pump long ball after long ball into the United box with 5 minutes to go.

'We are sorry to announce that Clive Tyldsley has choked on his own cum'

"Rooney will never be the world class player we all know he is when hes forced to operate too deeply".

followed by an Ivan Drago/Vidic/Soviet reference.