they aren't using the toilet.

but put it on silent if in communal loo

whilst on the pan. Surely you want to flush that bad boy away rather than sit over it, letting it stew the water before flushing? It's a toilet guys, not a cuppa!

but at home i read a book

Sometimes. But my phone is never off silent.

i play golf on mine, or tetris if i've got my gameboy. I sometimes do this whilst listening to mpfred and humming.

i'm now kickass at backgammon on my phone

In Mario Kart set up a balloon battle on block fortress. There's just enough time to do your business and win.

i thought "if i flush right now, they're going to know they're on the shitter"

i did as well. i felt like a bastard.

but posting about it on a music website sure as shit aint

a fair bit. I tend to get off when my legs go numb.