It's Friday! Oh man I'm going to go wild this weekend! And you will listen to me talk about my hangover for 17 hours next week! Then I'll do it again.

I was a much better student...

WACKY!

i just finished watching next weeks Mighty Boosh, its bollocks.

Now to update my councillors on the progress of their casework, make a cup of tea, pop to the servery and steal a pack of Ginger Nuts, write unnecccesarily long posts regarding the local news team, and leave early for my parents.

And, seeing as I drink so much tea or coffee, it's either spent making another drink or going to the toilet!

I get every other week off. But the downside is I can't piss about, I have to actually work on my week on. All I do is read papers, though, so it's pretty ace.

is my life.

I feel your pain.

I use the alt-tab trick constantly!

I don't start acknowledging people until 10 o'clock because I'm still asleep!

I'm locked out of my answer phone messages because I forgot my password!

I sit by myself at lunch and read!

I carry bits of paper around when I'm bored!

I just got an Official Warning from my boss because the mental woman who sits in the corner and moans and speaks with a voice that sounds like June Sarpong swallowing a malfunctioning radiator made a formal complaint about my language because I used the word 'flaps'!

I'M AN OFFICE WORKER!

WHEN I GET HOME MY TOP POCKET HAS A POST-IT NOTE IN, AND MY TROUSER POCKETS ARE FULL OF PENS

I actually enjoy sitting in front of a computer for seven hours a day!

I'm impotent!

I have a desk calender...

I have a workbook, but in the back of it I draw plans for imaginary theme parks, rubbish designs for chocolate bars and undead minor celebrities.

but it helps!!!!!!!!!!!!

IN OTHER PEOPLE'S EMAILS BEFORE I FORWARD THEM!

Everyone I work with is thick and incompetent but does twice as much work as me

I FORWARD THAT E-MAIL WITH ALL THOSE HILARIOUS JOKES TO EVERYONE, ONLY TO GET SAID E-MAIL SENT BACK TO ME 27 TIMES!

I PRINT OUT THE 'WACKY' '20 WAYS TO PROVE YOU'RE MAD' LIST!

I WATCHED THAT VIDEO OF THE MAN TRYING TO PHOTOCOPY HIS COMPUTER SCREEN AND ROFFLED!

YOU GUYS SOOOO ENVY ME!

I got annoyed when DIS got colour and it was easier for people to see when I when I was slacking off

I act all hard done by when I get told off for not doing any work

One for internet usage and two for my constant lateness. I still do not arrive in work before 9am and my working day is split 60% internet, 40% work - on a good day.

I SOMETIMES TRY AND PICK WHERE THE BEST SPOT WOULD BE TO SET UP MY SNIPER RIFLE IF I WAS TO GO ON A MAD KILLING SPREE. I'VE DECIDED THE CLOCK TOWER BIT ABOVE MY OFFICE IS AN EXCELLENT PLACE!

AND WHEN I TRY I BORE PEOPLE!

I print stuff out to make it look like i`m doing something.

I photocopy blank pages then hold them up to my face to warm myself.

I copy huge chunks of text from music forums and paste them into word to read at work.

I`m worried someone I work with will google my name and read this.

with an invoice in the same envelope.

SO I AM UNSACKABLE!

I MAKE AN EFFORT TO ALWAYS GET THE 'YOUR SYSTEM IS LOW ON VIRTUAL MEMORY' MESSAGE BOX!

=PROPER()

for those of you that haven't received the latest newsletter, this replaces =SUMIF() and for those of you on a platinum membership, =COUNTIF()

IT'S FRIDAY! THAT MEANS PUB LUNCH, RIGHT? THREE PINTS IN AN HOUR, WOOO I'M SOOOO DRUNK LOL WATCH ME I JUST GIGGLED DOWN THE PHONE LOLZO!

I'm also a massive hypocrite.

I'm going to buy everyone else cakes!

And I don't think I ever could be.

I like to make hats from work stationery and made a business card calling myself a milliner

I bet it feels like you have a real life and everything.

I spend copious amounts of time sitting on the toilet playing games on my phone.
I spend between 70% and 90% of my time on the internet, sometimes, ALL day.
My left hand is permanently hovering over alt + tab.
I get pissed off when I get interrupted from posting/reading/blogging.
I also copy things into word to read.
I also use word to write song lyrics and blogs on the grounds it looks like work.
I am the only person in the building with any IT skills and therefore beyond reproach.
I hate my life.
I carry pieces of paper around with a look on my face that says "this is the single most important piece of paper in the world" - they are usually blank.
I once went AWOL for 3 hours and no one noticed.
My timesheet is a joke.
I'M AN OFFICE WORKER!