An American woman who stalked Graham Coxon has been cautioned and threatened with deportation by the Met.

31-year-old Sue Ellingham tailed the former Blur guitarist for over a year, trashing his Canterbury farmhouse and turning up outside the school of his five-year-old daughter.

Apparently aggrieved at a failure to seduce Coxon, she deposited abusive missives on his website and penned false allegations about his sex life, according to the Mirror. The victim confirmed as much to friends, telling them: "she was writing poison."

"We cautioned a woman for harassment and criminal damage," confirmed police.

I hate stalkers.